The Move...Again

Part 1 – Apprehension yet Staunch Belief

Last night I didn't sleep well. An unusually long hour of lying under the sheets followed by about a half hour several hours later. I'm not exactly sure when I woke up for the half hour, but I seem to recall it being "18:06"; which was bizarre in and of itself. Both times, while I lay there, I buried my head under the spare pillow with Motion City Soundtrack songs playing like a jukebox that someone had stockpiled with quarters and left for something more interesting. Intermittently, pictures of me would flash. I’m packing a Budget rental truck by myself, driving by myself, laying in a hotel bed, flying back down and driving my car back, and another of me sitting in my friend Joseph’s apartment crying, looking strangled for air, all to accompany the music. The stop-motion daydream lay addled with me reflecting the sentiments of the cold snap wind I imagined was outside, moving the trees’ branches in some kind of order. All I could do was be there at that moment.

I said some prayers and imploded down to the bed only to have the music start up again. My grandparents had told me earlier in the day that I could spend a week at their house before I left. I explained that there was no way for me to move twice, or take off the work necessary for such a thing to happen. They both expressed an understanding, but persisted as a foreshadowing of what would occur while I tried to sleep.

I recall then giving everything to Someone on a mountain. They were gracious in accepting the burden that was my presentation, and I felt lighter. Like beaming. A shockwave of light enveloped everything leaving a smile and pictures of family and large-smiled friends whom I missed and wanted to hug and surprise.

It all stunted and stopped abruptly, and I slipped under.