Draft #1 - This will require several more hours to edit and rewrite...

Since last night's deepening on the Tablet of the Holy Mariner, I have thought up a clear path between the "fiery meteor", dinosaurs, revolutionaries, progressive revelation and the parallels between the spiritual and physical worlds.

Here’s what I have. Scientists have explained that a meteor is a solid mass of rock, dust and various deposits of basic elements (i.e. – tin, iron, copper, etc.). Now, when a meteor hits a planet there are several stages that take place. First, is the impact (or the word or message), when the meteor first strikes the planet the impact is unlike anything the planet has seen (or heard) and shakes its very foundation. Upon this impact reverberations or an impact zone is created; wherein the force that is released spreads out like ripples on a pond. These waves than cause massive destruction and lay waste to everything that formerly stood (ideals and old world beliefs) in its path.

As well, they have theorized that it was because of a massive meteor smashing into the Earth several million years ago that caused the demise of dinosaurs, the former dominant species. Therefore, if not for this meteor or meteors humanity would have been incapable of making that next progressive jump in evolution allowing us to get to where we are right now.

The meteor destroyed the old and ushered in the new, so it’s reaction is similar in form to that of a message of a “revolutionary.” As soon as a dissenting opinion or belief is first uttered its impact begins to grow and spread and flourish like the crash of an earth-changing meteor. The message ripples through the earth and through our souls like nothing we have ever felt. Obviously, some become terrified of such an occurrence, while others realize its significance and embrace the message unquestioningly.

Each Manifestation of God, or Messenger of God has acted as a meteor unto a corrupt and confused humanity. They’re revelation rips the world asunder and causes an unquestionable change in everything. People become followers of Their faith as they recognize the reverberations on their souls while others become scared and confused and quest to silence such a change. But as soon as the meteor met earth, as soon as the message was released unto humanity it could not be stopped.

What’s interesting as well is that last night at the deepening several people suggested that the fiery meteor’s goal was to call out the believers and nonbelievers in the next life, in heaven. What they neglected to remember; which was brought to my attention by Jessica, who is awesome; was the idea that the spiritual world draws parallels to the physical. If this is true, calling out the believers and nonbelievers in the next life could parallel the eruption that took place when the first meteor struck the earth ending the rein of dinosaurs and in each subsequent “meteor” strike in changing the course of our physical, but more importantly, spiritual wellbeing’s by ushering in that new step in the evolution of man.

I spent today at home, sitting in a chair playing Fifa Soccer '06 and X-Men Legends 2; I knew it was coming. Just like yesterday, I should probably say, the feeling was the same. Right before the call and message were received I had the same feeling, not more than fifteen minutes beforehand.

My sister and her friend had had a sleep-over the night before, and they were excited to have the day off to celebrate Naw-Ruz, the Persian/Bahai New Year. They woke me up early enough with explosions of fire and shouting emanating from the surround sound setup in the family room, directly below me. I used to be able to sleep through similar sounds, and the sound of a drunk pounding on a random door in the night, hoping it was his and he could get in. But I tried to avoid the loudness thereafter, and was bothered regularly by the neighbors' downstair parties not more than a month and half ago, where I'd wake up and have to turn the heater back on before breakfast. The thumping basslines only half muffled by the ergonomic pillow I slept on. I made my way down the steps to my own sounds, and plopped a slice of bread in the toaster to the beat of the John Williams-esque soundtrack. Walking over with a tub of margarine in one hand, a knife in the other my sister and her friend were fixed on the screen.

Half past noon rolled up and I was getting out of the shower to the foot massage from downstairs. I had missed Shannon's call to give me directions and called him back, jotting down the address into mapquest.

My gas gauge was nearing empty, but I decided to wait until my return home to fill up again as I compensated for the howl that struck my car, intent on me riding up onto the shoulder and the grass. The wind hadn't really stopped since Saturday, and could be heard upstairs during the Naw-Ruz program; shaking glass and concrete, creating tones. I had noticed a semi with its load relatively unfastened in front of me, and about four cars in a line to my left. I pictured the bags of soil coming loose and crashing into the hood of my car, causing a comma for the car and me alike. For some reason I almost always picture myself in a comma or as a vegetable when in the hospital.

Fifteen minutes later there was a rumbling in my pocket and something vibrating along my spine and the tread that keeps me together. "...I've been in an accident and my back's hurt pretty bad...didn't tell Shirin...hospital" I had never taken a high-speed u-turn like that in my life, fishtail and all.

Today was different, however. Today, I didn't even feel the gusts outside. Instead the constant welling up, and calming down in my eyes. Like leaks fixed by an overactive fix-it man in gray overalls and a red shirt beneath with a cloudy, unknown face. I didn't do much of anything. Sat, mashed buttons, typed keys, took shower. It was all delayed by something internal. Something I wasn't quite sure of. I knew it was something, something off, but I didn't feel the strength to lift that figurative finger and place it on anything. Turns out I got that call around five o'clock. "...we made an offer to somebody else..." didn't feel the way it was supposed to. Normally hearing news like this does little to mimic jilting, but this time I felt a drop. A fall with several hands coated in petroleum jelly. There was a splat, I heard, in the distance, and I focused on the game at hand.

5-0 Spain felt just like a jilt.

UN RELIGIOUS FREEDOM OFFICIAL EXPRESSES FEARS FOR BAHÁ'ÍS IN IRAN

"'The letter,' she said, 'which is addressed to the Ministry of Information, the Revolutionary Guard and the Police Force, states that the Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, had instructed the Command Headquarters to identify persons who adhere to the Bahá'í faith and monitor their activities. The letter goes on to request the recipients to, in a highly confidential manner, collect any and all information about members of the Bahá'í faith.'”

It's been a while, I'll admit, but the time off was needed

And it all flowed out, all at once

I'm at the House of Worship in Wilmette, IL right now; sitting at my friend Sarah's computer, staring at a bulletin board with two maps of Chicago and its suburbs, various fliers and a clipping from the local newspaper with a story about the House of Worship and its staff. I've been here nearly every day since the move. Taking breaks to sit on the floor in the Cornerstone Room to say prayers for Spiritual Growth whenever I can. I feel different in a lot of ways. Better. But I'm beginning to question to what extent 'better' means. Is this feeling simply a sheen, a spray-on coating that covers the degenerative feelings I've had over the past...several years? I try to spend time looking deep within, eyes forced closed, another eye darting in a black...something. I don't find much most of the time.

There are moments, however, where I see and feel a brightness in me. When I can't contain it all and it model-volcanoes its way out of my mouth and eyes and any other opening it can find as a mass of something that I can't quite put my finger on. What to call it, I can't put my finger on, I should say. The feeling is something different. Something welcoming and exciting, but short lived. Like the small charge left in a flashlight as you're crawling through a tunnel on all fours. I try to smack it to get those last ions and watts out, and soon there after it goes dead.

A friend explained to me a while ago that her goal was to be a hollow reed for Bahá’u’lláh, the profit founder of the Bahá’í Faith. That if she could work her best to be as a reed, or conduit, to Bahá’u’lláh everyone could see how much she loved Him. That it expanded within her body and outside it at the same time. Moving in unison with all the other people who felt this way. Like a limitless, growing, unseen ocean. She says the feeling is hard to describe, but people recognize it when they see it; whether they're Bahá’ís or not. As if it's something that we have all felt at some point, in a dark tunnel. But back then, when we were at our purest, at our most like a hollow reed, we glowed. I'm just trying to get back to that point and remember that that light is always there.

Now, where's my prayer book...