I've arrived at an inpass here. A snow covered 'T' intersection where I'm not even sure where I started from. Probably not nearly as dramatic a scene as I've just described, but equally as confusing. It goes like this: My job is not challenging, but the activities outside of work that I've been able to participate in are. What I do here is, essentially, copy information about doctors into the database or correct the mistakes of others; I've even been asked to double check other people's work on different occasions. What I'm doing outside of this place is far more exciting. For as long as I've been here I've complained about the lack of a challenge, the void in the "I actually have to spend some time to think about this one" activities. The absence of any kind of lucid...anything. The reality of the matter is that I've been able to supplement everything here with something outside of here, and that seems to make the job a little easier to bare. As I punch in names, file forms or verify and alphabetize questioners I've been attempting to think about what I'll be doing later. A sort of prepatory exercise revolving around keeping me sane and away from making crazy comments that turn into a "thing" and I never hear the end of it; it's annoying to know that after joking about how funny it would be to eat a penguin, the people here would continue to bring it up, even after I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't being serious (and after several weeks since) - on a crutch, I say.
Today, I sit and stare at the screen, knowing that if I visit websites outside of our network our IT guy will come by and publicly make a condescending remark about how he's going to block me despite the rest of the offices' glaring use of the same sites, not having any work and pondering what I'll be doing tonight. We have our second Cluster Coordinating Committee meeting [I know that there will be many who read this who will have no idea what a Cluster is, so I'll supply an explanation. A Cluster is, essentially, a group of communities, cities, towns, etc that have been grouped together in an effort to better facilitate growth of the Bahá’í Faith. As well, it's a way for people to bond together, and possibly get different ideas based on what other communities may be doing (eg. - Devotionals, Firesides, Children's Classes, Pre-Youth and -Youth Classes and the like).] at 7:30. The group will talk about the activities of Cluster 18, what we can do to better spread news about these activities and the planning of a Cluster Reflection Gathering, a meeting for our Cluster where we talk about what we're doing and what we can be doing better.
Yesterday, I met with Ken Bowers to network and generally get advice as to what I am doing in my professional life. Right or wrong path? Healthy or unhealthy choices? The meeting went well. However, a single question "...what about service to the Faith?" continues to have me wondering if I do enough for this religion that I love so much, or if there is something more I could be doing. Something more focused or more purposeful? Then, I snap back to this desk, this computer and one of my coworkers from the other room. We began briefly talking about the Faith after she noticed pictures of the House of Worship in India and the model for the one in Chile. She asked if "all the temples reflected nature?" and I said "yes". Ignoring that I should have probably explained that those two Houses of Worship were more nature reflective while the others more cultural reflective, and then it strikes me like a slap between the shoulder blades. Service to the Faith is specific to each person save one aspect. Some play the guitar and sing, others edit materials to be printed in books and still others patrol the grounds to insure the safety of anyone who steps upon the grounds. They all, however, teach.
Maybe I should get back to work now. Anticipating the next time someone asks me about the "beautiful buildings" that are the background.
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