A tendency exists to want to sleep the whole time I'm here in Minnesota, as I lay on the bed in the guest room of my aunt and uncle's house. A cave-like solitude would be created as I turn all the blinds up, lock the door, and create a fort out of my bedding. I'll wake up when we're ready to leave, living off the over abundance of food in my stomach. It's just not my scene here. I'm not exactly comfortable and haven't been the last three years we've come up here. Everything becomes instantly harder here. Personality shifts start happening, a need to adjust myself instead of finding that essentially comfort and calm that I know is there. Not really a cave within me as a museum of Davids' Past. A tour given by a man who looks oddly familiar to a group of incrementally younger yet equally as native men. I'll be reminded of past actions, wanting to be accepted and impress the family by being extra funny or making witty conversation.
That's one scenario, the most logical if one looks at precedent. If not, I'll just continue being me. Oddly calm in a storm of past mistakes. Looks like several hundred prayers are in order.
1 comment:
I have such a hard time going to family things, too, for the very same reason! I immediately start reverting back to some old version of me and have to fight, fight, fight to show that I'm a new me now.
Argh. (translation: I feel your pain.)
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