or something...
1) Wanting to pull the headphones/headphones out of someone's ears or pulling the CD Player/mp3 player from their coat and smashing them;
2) Listening to an old Russian man extrapolate, in broke English, on his belief that we could solve all our energy problems if only we could utilize the power of donkey technology [the Saudis are getting 8 mpg (miles per goat) while we here in the U.S. are only getting 4], and then switching to Russian as you see the Russian woman sitting across from growing increasingly angry as he's obviously saying something offensive in Russian;
3) Hearing an African-American woman who's either a really fantastic actor or a paranoid schizophrenic mumble to herself about how 'black africans' are scum and should have 'accepted the whiteman's handouts'...whatever that means. She was so worked up she was spitting and nearly knocked me over as she made her way to the exit.
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Oh man, you should come ride the subway with me in NYC. In addition to your standard mentally unbalanced people, we've got homeless stand up comics, fluteboxers, break dancers, preachers and pirated movie hawkers. The entertainment/annoyance never ends.
"Our goats now have 10% less Ethanol!"
See, the thing is, at times I really enjoy these situations. If I see the Russian Donkey Man again, I'm getting on that car and probably sitting as close to him as possible; because, that dude is hilarious. (Referring to "miles per goat" when talking about donkeys? You bet!) Crazy people are at least more entertaining then the guy who has just been released from prison and announces that "finding a job's hard" (wait, it's what?) and wishes for your guilt money or an old lady who bursts into tears because no one will lend her their cellphone to call work and tell them she'll be late. She'll only be a minute, she says. Then proceeds to speak with whomever on the other line about the "fat American Idol" contestant. "He's so fat, he makes Luthor, Gawd rest his soul, look thin." ...this comment is less funny when you hear her leg-slapping laughing while holding up a finger to the woman who's minutes are being dwindled away by this "desperate woman."
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