I would like to address detractors of the new Facebook

Shut up!
As of a month ago, facebook unveiled their new site. A site of simplicity and ease of use. It's too bad that you folks don't understand the concept of web 2.0. It's too bad you're still using your hotmail or yahoo email accounts. Learn to use the site, grow with it. Recognize that scrolling = bad, and that setting up your feed filters makes everyone's life easier.
To distill this message to it's purest form: the internet is about change; embrace the change or get out of the way.
Sorry if that's rude, but, seriously, if you have a problem, go use myspace and it's copious nudity.

High School Story Time

me: there's a background joke to that

Heather: yeah, I'm sure

care to share with the class??

me: My friend Brandon and his family went to the Rainforest Cafe while we were in high school

now, Brandon is my friend, and very intelligent and completely out of his mind

So, his parents were reminding him not to make a scene or be too silly

even though his entire family is, well, insane

They're sitting there, looking over the menu when the server comes up looking rather morose and wearing nothing but the darkness of his soul

Heather: hahaha

so far so good

me: thanks

He, like corpse, asks for their orders starting with his mom. While this is happening, his dad leans over and tells him not to be "an ass", and Brandon agrees

Very soon thereafter the server looks at Brandon and with a complete lack of emotion asks what he'll be having

to which Brandon replies, in his best death metal growl, "RAM'S BLOOD!"
Heather: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

beautiful

me: the server quickly excused himself, saying that he'd get a different server

that is one of my favorite stories about Brandon

Heather: wait, seriously?!

me: yes

this actually happened

Heather: I mean the getting a different server part

me: yep